why do cheetos always look like penises
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
