My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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