I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
