Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
