That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
