even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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