I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
