Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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