I skipped work to stalk him.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
