i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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