champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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