I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
