At least make sure they are 18
Why
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
