There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
