Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
