I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize