what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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