I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
