Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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