Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Randomize
