..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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