she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
