Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I will pee on everything he values.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
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