If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
