I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
