AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
