fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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