she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
