The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
