I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
