i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
