If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
