Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
She even gives head with a lisp.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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