She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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