1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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