Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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