Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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