she looked like the bat from fern gully.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
