Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
