About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
