Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
