I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
