I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
