My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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