my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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