That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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