Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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