so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
