I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
