Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
