You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
