hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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